I did it… #projectsemicolon…SUICIDE AWARENESS….

“A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life,”

Project Semicolon; I recently discovered this movement;  I have always wanted to acknowledge my fathers suicide very openly to bring awareness to mental health and suicide;  For 18 years I felt guilt, shame and I wouldn’t talk to people about what happened…. Then I wrote a book….. huge step;  I have also lost an Uncle and cousin to suicide.  I just found out that my ex-husband jumped in front of a train 3 years ago;

This weekend a friend visited that I have known since I was a kid; A very honest, open person and the kind person that doesn’t hold back an opinion;  When I have discussed my fathers suicide with people that didn’t know me, or my dad… who just weren’t THERE I usually blow them off because they just don’t fucking know!! Yes, I know my father had a mental illness; Yes I know that it wasn’t “my fault”, but you weren’t there; You will just never really get it unless your dad or mom shot, hung themselves and set the attic on fire all at the same time; Coupled with the facts that you and the parent were in a fight, not getting along for 8 months after they wouldn’t let you back into the house, and said horrible things to each other 3 days before his death which included you lying; An even bigger issue I deal with is that my dad was my best friend my entire life until our falling out 8 months before his death; My mom, my dad and I were a team and we did everything together; He wasn’t physically abusive.  He didn’t drink. I got everything I wanted; I was treated like a princess.  He even built me my own little castle;

When someone was around at that time, and they have known you their entire life and your family, you kind of have to listen to what they have to say….. because if you don’t you are just an ignorant asshole; The added benefit is you get to call them out on their shit too;

#projectsemicolon

#projectsemicolon

I’m not going to recap the conversation… A few tears were shed….I listened AND heard…..and later I got this tattoo…. So thank you friend….

Dad, Uncle, cousin, friend, I wish you didn’t choose to end your sentence with a period.  My sentences will continue to end with a semicolon;

If anyone is interested in reading my story Google my name on Amazon.

Left Behind A Book for Suicide Survivors

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About Vanessa Bednar

I am an actor, a writer, a mom, an adventurer.

One response to “I did it… #projectsemicolon…SUICIDE AWARENESS….

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