Loyalty- Friends and Money

It is true that you find out who your true friends are when you run out of money.  Loyalty runs out more often than not when the well runs dry.  Even loyalty with family can and does get altered.  Watch people fight over money that a loved one has left people upon their death. It is brutal.

I used to have a very successful business.  I did well and I think I paid people well.  I knew what it felt like to be poor and I wanted people to feel comfortable and WANT to work with me. When I produced model search events for Hawaiian Tropic I would try to pay the girls something even if they didn’t win prize money.  I could usually only do this at big weekend long events.  I knew I needed the girls to have an event. Why should they give up work so I could profit? Granted the events were fun. It was a weekend party with free food, hotel, drinks, but still. I could have put more money in the bank, but I have no regrets.  I’m proud that I know I treated everyone “in my eyes” fairly…. Now I’m sure some people would say differently because, YOU CAN NEVER MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY.  I have cried lots and lots of tears trying to understand people. What I have learned? Everyone has rent or a mortgage, needs to eat, and wants to retire.  I lost a few people I thought were my friends when my business ended and the money ran out, and it was HARD. But, I can honestly say it was for the best.  I look at all the close friends I surround myself with and even the more distant friends I have allowed to be my friends on Facebook and again, I can honestly say, most of them are damn good people.  People that would and have gone out of their way to help me and I have or would do the same for them if I could.

I chose to pursue a career with limited financial gain. When I do have money I spend it on my kids, buy gifts for friends, or give it away.  I dont want to be burdened by what to do with it. I’m ok as long as I have food and gas in my car….. And yes of course when my bills are paid.

Which brings me to my final point; Don’t get stuck. Don’t get stuck in a life that isn’t bringing you joy just because it is easy. Living paycheck to paycheck or having an abundant income doing something you hate will kill you.  Find your joy. Yes, make sure the kids are fed, but find something, even if it is a hobby to bring you joy. If you do have kids, remember, THEY ARE GOING TO LEAVE THE NEST. Who are you and what are you going to do with the many extra hours in the day you will have when they leave? Your dream of “just doing nothing”, will get boring. Find a balance. Find a love of many things. Find friends. Travel. Do stuff!

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About Vanessa Bednar

I am an actor, a writer, a mom, an adventurer.

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