I needed people to show up for me… and they did

When I was in 8th grade I invited my entire class over for an 8th grade party.  I hand wrote invitations on little notebook squares (part of the problem- horrible handwriting and looked cheesy), my parents bought coolers full of soda, hot dogs, hamburgers, brought out the old school trampoline, 1988 style party preparations were made.  Only 3 or 4 of my classmates showed up.  I was scarred for life and didn’t have any kind of a party for myself until my 38th birthday, then I said screw it, I want a damn party.  I baked, I decorated, I promoted my party like nothing else I had ever done. It was a mild success, as I had fun, got wasted, a friend made me pot brownies, I threw up on my bed in mid conversation to people and then kept right on talking…  but the day of I kept getting texts and messages of people and their excuses for not being able to make it.  I started to freak out and do shots.  Still many friends did show up and I was glad I did it.

This year I turned 40 and I was going to throw myself another party hell or high water!  I went all out. I started sending out invitations 6 months out the old fashion way with stamps.  I invited all 888 of my Facebook friends and posted countdowns daily.  I bought 11 huge pinatas and filled them with prizes, a cotton candy machine, chocolate fountain, custom fortune cookies, tents if people were too drunk to drive home.  I glued 1,000 pieces of candy on my tree, I bought a party tent, bolts of fabric to cover my couches, masks, 7 blow up out door Halloween decorations, lights.  I was not going to let be a repeat of 8th grade.  I just wanted people to show up and I was going to do everything in my power to get them to get their asses here damn it!

What happened?  They showed up for me. 70 people showed up for me.  Yes they knew I would have booze and food and the house was fabulously decorated, but they still showed up to my party.  Doesn’t everyone just want people to show up for them?…. at least one time? I DID…. and damn it, it felt great.  Four friends even flew in; two from Montana, one from Texas and one from Reno. My best friend, Amy came from Montana and it wouldn’t have been a party with out her.  Plus there is no way I could have done it with out her!! Amy and my mother really saved the party! I took on a little too much.  I have big ideas! My friends were a melting pot from different times in my life, from neighbors to fellow actors, to old friends and Hawaiian Tropic girls.  Everyone melded together, everyone got along, and at the end everyone sang karaoke.  I will always remember my 40th Birthday, a birthday made so special because my friends showed up for me, and I needed that to start the next 40 years. Thank you to all of my friends xxxooo.

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About Vanessa Bednar

I am an actor, a writer, a producer, a mom, an adventurer.

One response to “I needed people to show up for me… and they did

  1. WHAT?! I missed freakin’ karaoke? DAMMIT. You need to do it again, and this time I’ll stay til the end. (BTW, I was totally honored that I got to destroy the unicorn pinata all by myself!)

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