Being an actor

 
Being an actor:
Drinking that bottle of wine last night as my dinner was like a cleanse. I lost 5 pounds….holla for my shoot tomorrow. Why did I do such a stupid thing? Well I will tell you. Being an actor is stressful. Everyone has a different opinion. I have tough skin. I go on auditions and I forget them. I either get the part or I dont. However, it is all the things you fell like you should be doing and your not so you are failing. You need to do casting director work shops, send out postcards, be in at least one live show in order to be able to send out postcards to casting directors to promote you are doing something, be in at least one class; improv; which one? IOwest, Second City, UCB, Groundlings? What you havent gone through all 4 programs? A cold reading class, a technique class; which one? Meisner? Strasbourg? whoever they all are? How often are you going out on auditions? How many call backs? How many bookings? you are failing….. so and so has gone out on 5 pilot auditions so far and worked 7 episodes on Shameless. I dont have a manger yet… I sent my stuff to 400 managers…..I dont have enough IMDB credits, why arent all my credits up yet, I need a new reel, I need new headshots, I need to redo my hair, I need to STOP getting parking tickets. The fact that I booked 5 things, some just off my reel in the past 2 weeks just doesnt matter. Its never enough. Am I prepared enough when I audition. Am I being to flippant? Should I prepare more? Should I have an acting coach for every audition? Who am I ? Who is the character? Am I fucking up? AM I failing? I need money… I need to do more work shops… I need to finish writing that pilot. My book is almost done.. now I have to build a platform for a publisher to even be interested….the house was clean and now is a mess again. The dog is sick, the kid is sick, and I am losing my mind. Do I have gas in my car? Money for the parking meter? This is what it is like to be an actor….
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About Vanessa Bednar

I am an actor, a writer, a mom, an adventurer.

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