Sorry Charlize Theron… Gender Equality Still Sucks.

I’ve been put in Facebook jail for three days because I said men were chickens for not asking Charlize out and saying that she was awesome. Facebook considered it a “hate speech”.  Actually I was banned for 3 days twice.  I was banned the first 3 days when I shared from my male coworkers page a post on Charlize Theron that said she was hopelessly single and that she wanted men to grow some balls and ask her out. I wrote with the post I was sharing: “I know so many beautiful women that are single and they say men never approach them. Men are chickens.”  Facebook removed my post and gave me a 3 day suspension.  I honestly didn’t know what I was being put in a time out for.  I didn’t even use the F word like I normally do, so after my time out I reposted it again saying this: “This is awesome. I totally feel the same way. Men are chickens. She’s awesome.” Facebook removed the post, extended my time out, and when I asked for a review they said it was a hate speech. ( The link and photos are below.)

What got me even more upset was some of the comments from men before my post was removed.  They thought that Charlize must be a stuck up slut that only wants to date rich Roman Gods. Like… did you ask her? Does Charlize want to date a man who has a job, goals, a drivers license and a car?  Probably a firm yes. Does she want  a man who likes to do stuff, takes care of himself and doesn’t live in his mother’s basement? Probably. But to assume she’s only into a chiseled statue who is the CEO on a Forbes 500 list is ridiculous. She wants to be taken out on a date. Not just hook up in a Starbucks bathroom from a Tinder match. And I’m pretty sure that’s what most women want.

Has gender equality gotten better? Or now are women supposed to be sexy, have jobs, clean the house, but accept a man as a partner who has no life goals except cracking open a 6 pack at the end of the day and binge watch an entire season of the Office? But. …..Maybe she does.  Maybe her favorite things are just that, drinking beer and binge watching shows, but you’ll never know because you will never ask…because YOU ARE CHICKENs.
What is going on if women can’t call men chickens, but our president can brag about grabbing women by the pussy?
I have witnessed Charlize alone… I was at the premier of Cider House Rules 20 years ago.  She was sitting alone at the table next to me.  She was the star of the film.  I wanted to talk to her, but I admit it, I was scared.  But damn it, next time I see her I am going to tell her how awesome she is.

Barbee Rehab Lip Sync Battle Teresa VS. Cop Ken

For Immediate release- Cop Ken and Teresa have been fighting again in Barbee Rehab.  The only way to determine a winner is a Lip Sync Battle… Game on Cop Ken…

Season 2 with Tom Sizemore as the new Doctor is Coming out soon on Amazon!! Check out Season One on youtube!!


Tom Sizemore Joins The Cast of Barbee Rehab

Actor Tom Sizemore joins the cast of the series Barbee Rehab. Tom plays the new doctor in the season season that began filming in February.  Barbee Rehab is a parody of Celebrity Rehab in which Tom was also a cast member.  Tom Sizemore rose to fame in the 1990’s in films such as Saving Private Ryan and Heat.  The Executive Producers of Barbee Rehab, Derek S. Orr and Vanessa Bednar are delighted to have one of America’s best actors join the cast.  “He is a true talent, a loving person, and a brilliant actor.” (Vanessa Bednar).

The second season is currently in production and is scheduled to be released this summer.  The very talented and diverse cast are as funny off screen as they are on screen.

Barbee Rehab: Where Barbee Addicts and Addicted Barbees come to heal.

Catch up on season one now!:


Maybe today it can not be my fault.

Maybe today it’s ok to cry for all that I lost.

Maybe today can be about me and not him.

Maybe today can be about me and not all of them.

Maybe today will be with out guilt.

Maybe today will be with out hurt.

Maybe today the sun rose and set.

Maybe tomorrow the pain my mind will forget.

Can’t Let it Go! #AwaiianTropi

I’ve filmed lots and lots of sketches…. My friends Michael and Christina wrote, produced and directed Being Vanessa for me, which was AWESOME! Can’t Let it Go is the first production with a cast that I wrote, produced and acted in. I am very proud of this project and really think I have turned an important corner.  I still have a lot to learn, but with this project I feel like “Ok.. I’get it… I can figure this out!”  I can not wait to film my next project, Barbee Rehab in April along with TWO more episodes of Can’t Let it Go!

Thank you to all my cast, crew and supporters!! We did it!!

Enjoy! And Please like, subscribe and SHARE!!

Do everything you can NOW!

I’ve lost too many friends and family over the years and the pace seems to be increasing.  I guess that happens the older you get. I’ve been thinking about what they would say if I asked each of them: Should I do this? Should I do that? Each time I see one of their faces in my mind and ask them, my brain, my gut my soul all knows that they will say: DO IT! DO IT NOW! And if I reply with doubts on money or time or support from friends they would all say.. maybe in different ways… but they would all say: “Screw it, screw them, find a way, do it, because when it’s over its over.” I’m sure they all made mistakes in their lives that they wish they could change, but in the core of it all finding our joy is the most important thing. Because, when we find or joy we inspire the joy in others.  The dreams we all have seem a little more attainable when others achieve their.  When we achieve our dreams and are happy in our lives we are also more prone to help others, to pay it forward. I have learned that even though you have helped others in the past that doesn’t mean they will repay the favor and that is a hard lesson.  However, when we give gifts that’s what they are, gifts and if we are expecting to be repaid then we should not give them. Trust me though, when you really need support monetarily, but mostly emotionally and the people you are closest to  aren’t there, it hurts, a lot. Everything in life is a lesson.  When a disappointment happens that always makes me work harder and prove people wrong. Then I when I accomplish it I admit, and this is probably bad … I know it’s spiteful I say in my head: “Haha mother f’ers… not helping your ass ever again”, and then instead of worrying about others I take some time to worry about myself, and make my dreams a reality.

There are lots and lots of people that think I’m nuts with my parties and my projects and the things I post on my Youtube channel and Facebook and sometimes I question it. But then I ponder what those I have lost would tell me, the dreamers and even the conservatives; Butch, Stacey, Danny, Lauren, Abby, Stuart, My dad, all my grandparents… all of them.  They would say “Screw em’… follow your dreams… go sky diving, open a business, raise kids, go on the roller coaster, participate in a protest, join the roller derby, ride the horse, buy the confetti,  love the world.”  We are going through some crazy times and I just read a meteor could kill us all next month, so what are we all waiting for?  Don’t get stuck on all the bad in the world and find a way to make it better.  The easiest way to do this is finding your joy!


#CarrieFisher was a trailblazer. A Titan of our time. She brought an unapologetic face to the plight of mental illness, which was shunned. Times have changed for the better little by little…While mental illness is talked about more today I specifically remember Ms. Fisher being ridiculed for being treated for her mental illness. I am glad she lived long enough to see those stigmas fade away….. George Michael…terribly harassed for being gay. I remember the tabloids. Hurtful does not begin to describe it. I know it seems like with what has transpired in the election and in certain States that we are going backwards. However, if you look at history we are clearly moving forward. When I was a child I didn’t even know what being transgender was. Now, my children have transgender friends. When I was in highschool the civil rights movement was 40 years past…. but I don’t remember any biracial couples. My children’s schools are so diverse. They don’t see color like I was taught to. The only times racial jokes are told amongst my daughters friends are by people of that race making fun of themselves. All the polls show the young believe in equality… all these old white dinosaurs just have to die out so real change for the betterment for all can happen. I believe there are still leaders in our government that were opposed to the Civil Rights movement…. who voted to keep segregation. We know there are still people in government that oppose equal rights for all Americans in regards to marriage and religious freedom. Change happens. That’s the only thing that’s guaranteed….. Big change can happen over night. But that’s rare and mostly if a traumatic event happens. However, most change is slow and we as humans are impatient. Make your voices heard. Help others. Follow the golden rule. Don’t sit idly by… Do something. Be a Carrie Fisher. Be a George Michael.

Can’t Let it Go!

Find out what all the Buzz is about!

You should never let the dream die…. especially if you are a swimsuit model!

Who are you?

I’ve never colored inside the lines. I’ve always challenged “the rules” set by other people. I’ve never just believed everything that was told to me. I’ve always listened, but not always followed. I have been told not to attempt to try numerous things, but have always done them anyway. It has always taken me more than one try to achieve the goals I have wanted to obtain, but they have never been small goals. I have not taken a lot of advice I should have because I needed to learn the lessons on my own. I have loved and lost with pain at times, but never with regrets. I have sacraficed things from myself for others in more need that I when I was told not to care. I have spoken up when I was told to shut up. I have moved forward when it would have been easier to stand still and stay where I was. I have hurt people I love and punished myself for their pain. I have at times wanted to raise the white flag in defeat, but I never have. I have always climbed back up the cliff with my finger nails. I am me and I need to never forget that. Who are you?

This is Suicide

Apparently today is suicide prevention day… I will share….BUT NO COMMENTS….(not your fault, brave, blah blah) or I’m not going to share again. I know life can be Shitty. I get depressed all the time….however….you just have to suck it up….and I know how excruciatingly hard it can be. I’ve been so depressed that it is physically and mentally painful. It’s like my soul was put into a vice and squeezed and as I get older it gets worse. Know that if you end your life you are not just ending your life, but PERMENENTLY altering everyone that loves you’s life too. Even the people that you think hate you will be damaged. Because everyone is going to feel guilt and wonder what they could have done to stop you. If you just wouldn’t have had that fight…..If you just would have accepted that offer to go out to lunch…. The “if onlys” will drive anyone crazy. Yesterday at the hair place random memories flooded my brain when my hair was being washed. My mind flashed back to when i was a kid and I used to go to the mall with my dad to get his hair cut, dance class, get a slice of pizza, the confectionery, red laces, and when he used to take me to Hallmark after dance class and I could pick out stickers for my “very cool” sticker collection. My memories are good ones, of my dad smiling and laughing and we just had fun hanging out. Then the sadness swoops in because I just can’t allow myself to be that happy like I was in those memories. Because WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? I don’t understand what happened to my dad. He shot, hung himself and set our house on fire? It is not possible and aliens must have swept down and swapped him out. Or how much did I influence his change? I defied him…. I left the house… I said horrible things to this great man that gave me everything… I lied… I was cruel…. We had a horrible fight….We weren’t speaking when he died… Some 24 years later and the why’s still haunt me. (Now here’s where everyone that loves me freaks out- yes I know he was an adult, I was a teenager, would you blame your daughter, it was his choice) yes, yes…. I know…. But unless you experienced THE EXACT things I did just shut it. No amount of therapy is going to make my brain understand what happened. The more time that goes by the more happy memories my brain is allowing me to remember. I used to not be able to see his face. Now I can. The happy memories are EXCRUCIATING. but I am really really trying to enjoy them, because I want to know that I was really really happy once upon a time and not just making it through the day. Slowly maybe that pure joy can come back. But it is painful…. Whenever I’m too happy I worry something bad will happen, especially to my kids… So my brain tells me not to be too happy…..tone it down… Because WHEN something bad happens it’s better to fall from a shorter ladder…..if I’m too happy the ladder is too high and it’s more painful to fall off of. Which is totally ridiculous I know….I KNOW…. So…. Don’t ruin other people’s lives because you think yours sucks. Double up on your Prozac, just get out of the house and walk around the block, pet a puppy. I am a prime example of the aftermath of suicide. My kids will never know their grandfather. They will never really get that he wasn’t crazy his entire life… And I will have to cry every time memories surface of a great loving man that always took me to buy stickers after dance class….. I mean it…no comments…. Or texts….mother…

2016 Update

This stupid day again. I wrote this last year. I don’t know if this day does anything to help. It should be talk about Suicide with everyone you know day because it is such a taboo subject nothing is going to change unless it is talked about openly. There is so much shame tied to it, yet every single person I know has been horribly sad some time in their lives…. a man just attempted on my block. It’s hush hush. It’s a choice. We all have them. Do we stay or do we go. If you are elderly, alone, dying, in pain and you want to end it I actually am for people’s choice to end it, if it is done in a way that won’t harm others for the rest of their lives. However, when you involve other people, have family and friends that love you, this is what you are “choosing” to do.